Level Seven

The Manila Diaries

Open or Direct

22 June 2012

90 degrees Fahrenheit, Partly Cloudy, Humidity 83%

Something I’ve come to notice is how open or direct Filipino people can be.  For example, when meeting someone for the first time, I smile at some of the questions I am asked about myself and my family.  Apparently this is just a way of getting to know you and actually I don’t find anything wrong with this.

I have also noticed that it is not just Filipino people who engage in this past-time here in Manila.  I have been struck by the number of strangers (non-Asian people) who strike up a conversation with me in the street and almost immediately I have swapped some personal details with them which if I was back in the UK I would probably not be so willing to divulge to someone I have just met.  I think in this situation it could be something to do with familiarity (a European / White face among a crowd of Asian nationalities) and a feeling that this person could be a potential friend / acquaintance / source of information, etc

It reminds me about Will Schutz’s theory about the development of interpersonal relationships (FIRO) and how our needs for Inclusion / Control and Affection (Openness) are met.  According to the theory these needs are met in a sequential way, after our needs for inclusion or involvement are met then the relationship goes onto deal with issues of control and once these are satisfactorily dealt with the relationship is able to deal with how open or affective the relationship can be.  That is why sometimes, Team Building events get off to a challenging start because the event goes straight into dealing with openness without first taking the time to address issues of inclusion and control.

Either way, I am getting to accept that culturally what I would normally think of as directness can be just another way of accelerating openness within a relationship.

And finally, the weather, it is still very hot and sticky!

Signing off for now

Our Correspondent in Manila